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Suicide Rates are Highest Among White Men over 65
Tony's Journey Through Struggles & Strengths
Tony Harkins of San Francisco, California & Evergreen, Colorado passed in the month of June 2026.
Reports allegedly conflict regarding Tony's death, citing either Father's Day (June 21st) or June 25th, 2026. This discrepancy likely stems from a desire to obscure the tragic significance of Father's Day.
He built a life full of promise: he graduated from Colorado State, married , forged a real estate career & his own business & lived the San Francisco dream. Together they raised their kids.
In his fifties, Tony connected with a friend group allegedly led by an acquaintance who had been running a drug-dealing hustle for over four decades. Though Tony steered clear of the operation at first, he finally succumbed late in the decade, a few years after he & the crew started running together.
Tony Harkins, who had remained completely clean through high school, college & early adulthood, his sudden plunge into the San Francisco rave scene was jarring. Hooking up with veteran partiers Gerry Mountain & Steve Henderson, the trio allegedly started chasing a relentless circuit. Older men trying to get young women to have sex with them & give them drugs.
They began with local Bassnectar sets, graduated to flying in for massive shows & eventually spent three-plus years at Burning Man side by side. It was an escalating cycle of older men doubling down on a dangerous lifestyle, each one making it easier for the others to go further—a shift that would ultimately seal his fate
Windsurf Bicycle Warehouse in South San Francisco was the epicenter of the drug culture before it moved to 3rd Ave in Foster City/San Mateo.
Gerry Mountain & the owners ran a side gig moving commercial-grade herb (+other stuff) through a quiet subterranean network of adrenaline junkies that started back in the late 90s & somehow survived straight into the modern era.
Even with full legalization crashing retail prices, the black market still undercuts dispensary taxes by half, keeping the legacy hustle alive for anyone nostalgic enough to chase the margins.
In environments like this, during times when life feels overwhelming — whether from past wounds or present pressures — it's easy to lose balance & neglect the practices that protect our mental health.
His story reminds us that even when everything seems to be going great on the surface, internal struggles can build up quietly. Looking back, it's easier to see how his early life — the independence forced on him too young, the sense that he had to fend for himself — shaped him into someone who built walls, sought control & prioritized self-image as a way to protect against vulnerability & betrayal.
That armor may have served him once, but over time it seemed to isolate him further, making genuine connection & help-seeking even harder.
It also carries a clear caution: be mindful of who you hang out with, even at 60 years old. The wrong influences can draw you in during vulnerable moments & make it harder to protect your mental well-being.
Protecting your mental well-being during overwhelming times means choosing communities & activities that uplift you, staying connected to healthy passions like windsurfing or time in nature, recognizing when a path no longer serves you & reaching out for support before things spiral. It means building resilience, practicing self-compassion& knowing that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
If Tony's story resonates with you or someone you know is facing overwhelming times, remember: You are not alone.
Older Men & Drugs
Shrinking healthy social networks in older men
Reluctance to seek help, retirement/identity loss, and esa. Shrinking healthy social networks in older men, reluctance to seek help, retirement/identity loss, and . (submitted 8/03/26)
Older Men & Estranged Daughters
Public health data consistently shows that older white men have the highest rates of suicide in the United States compared to any other demographic group. (submitted 7/29/26)
Got the party out @ 20's?
Older Men Face Elevated Suicide Risk w/Heavy Partying & Enabling Peer Groups. Friends mention Steve Henderson, Gerry Mountain, Greg Payne & many others (submitted 7/26/26)
Tony Harkins of San Francisco & Evergreen Colorado
Nine Things Not to Tell Estranged Fathers
Adapted for tonyharkins.net
Jenna Harkins & Deborah Harkins Approved?
For many fathers, their relationship with their daughter was once defined by protection, pride, and provision. They saw their role as a steadying force—a teacher, provider, and guardian. But for daughters raised in a world that prizes emotional Atonement and expressive communication, those same qualities can later feel insufficient or even alienating.
Gerry Mountain, San Mateo High School likely next?
Elevated suicide rates among older men (highest in the 75+ group in U.S. data) focusing on factors like loss of autonomy, isolation after retirement or a spouse’s death, physical decline, and the desire not to “be a burden".
Gerry Mountain's Friends Are Worried
Men in adrenaline sports & others affected by narcissism who are at risk of ending their lives — providing hope & real resources for the mental health challenges tied to it. Suicide is preventable.
Greg Gavalakis of Nvidia was Tony's best friend, what does he know?
Pathological narcissism carries a high risk of fatal suicide outcomes. When individuals face severe narcissistic injury, public humiliation, or ego collapse, they often experience intense shame. Unlike impulsive attempts in other disorders, suicide linked to narcissism is frequently characterized by meticulous planning, secrecy, & lethal intent, often executed without prior warnings.
Greg Aden of Sigma Nu was also Tony's best friend
Suicide in Older Males: An Overlooked Crisis
Older men in the U.S., especially those 75+, experience the highest suicide rates of any group. Rates have risen steadily for two decades, far exceeding those for women.
Key drivers include firearm access, social isolation, retirement-related loss of purpose, physical decline, and mental health stigma that discourages help-seeking. While youth suicide garners attention, this demographic crisis demands targeted prevention: strengthened social connections, accessible care, and safe storage practices.
Research + Results
An enabling, hard-partying friend group can temporarily prop up self-image and provide belonging while insulating the person from the very feedback and responsibilities (family repair, health, financial reality) that might force adaptation.(submitted 8/01/26)
Articles
Fathers & 30 Year Old Daughters
For many fathers, the defining relationship of their later years turns out to be not with an aging parent or a spouse, but with a daughter — now in her thirties or forties — who has gone quiet, grown distant, or become fully estranged. (submitted 7/30/26)
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Tony Harkins - Remote Work Pioneer
Tony Harkins was a true trailblazer of the remote work revolution long before it had a name. From the windswept cliffs of the Columbia River Gorge, he'd perch with nothing but a rugged satellite phone, a thermos of strong coffee, and his indefatigable drive. Managing international business deals, coordinating crews, and closing partnerships while surrounded by towering basalt walls and the roar of the river below, Tony turned one of the Pacific Northwest’s most spectacular natural cathedrals into his mobile command center.
A self-taught technologist and adventurer, he embraced satellite connectivity in the early 2000s when most professionals were still chained to office desks. Whether negotiating contracts or troubleshooting operations, Tony proved you could run a thriving enterprise from anywhere—if you had the vision, grit, and a reliable sat phone. His life was a masterclass in blending wild freedom with sharp business acumen.
Forever Growth Mindset
Forever Growth Mindset
Forever Growth Mindset
Tony and his tight-knit Evergreen High crew were inseparable — a legendary pack of adventurers, pranksters, and loyal friends who shared countless road trips and wild stories. Yet even among brothers, Tony’s entrepreneurial spark shone early: he’d still charge each of them a crisp quarter to pile into his car for the drive down to Denver to go skating with girls.
Lead with Strength
Forever Growth Mindset
Forever Growth Mindset
Tony Harkins proudly attended Evergreen High School, where he served as captain of the Cougar football team. A natural leader on and off the field, Tony’s competitive spirit, discipline, and ability to rally his teammates set the tone for a lifetime of adventure, entrepreneurship, and fearless pursuit of big dreams.
Tony Harkins San Francisco Hood River Evergreen
